I received this question the other day and I thought the answer might be of benefit.
I am recent convert to Islam and I'm writing you today
to ask you advice on how I can make my family more open minded to Islam
and see it for what it is and not what they see in the media.
They barely talk to me anymore and now a days even my mom throws
negative remarks my way
It pains me so much that they don't see Islam’s message and beauty.
Well the approach I have taken with them is showing that Islam’s main
fate is to believe that there is only one god and no other above it and
so many other analogies that if I explain them I will never end this
Well that's all for me today I hope that you can provide your great
knowledge on this one
From a sister that seeks help
As salam alaikum,
All Praise is due to Allah, who has guided you to this noble and blessed
religion of Islam.
May His peace and blessing be upon the final messenger Mohammed, his family and followers. Ameem.
First you should take heart from the fact that such trials and test have been
faced by the Prophets and Messengers also. Look at the story of Prophet Ibrahim
that is so much in our hearts and minds over these days of Hajj. When he tried
to teach his father about the truth of Allah's oneness, his father threatened
him with death if he did not stop. Also the Prophet Mohammed's own uncles and
tribe rejected him. In fact one of his strongest enemies was Abu Lahab, who was
So this type of difficulty is to be expected, and inshallah (God willing) you could take this a sign that you are on the straight path.
There are a few things I recommend to new Muslims concerning their families.
The first is to take it easy. When you first become Muslim it is natural to feel full of enthusiasm and to feel that you want everyone to experience the wonderful feelings and knowledge that you are having right now. However, for others this only translates in their minds into a type of fanaticism. One thing that cannot be avoided is that fact that the truth of Islam is always going to be difficult for many people to accept simply because it contradicts much of what they have based their lives on.
Perhaps you should just get on with being a Muslim, and wait until they ask you questions. Act like being a Muslim is the most natural thing in the world (which in fact it is). Of course when they ask questions you can't be accused of shoving Islam down their throat.
When you do
get to talk to them, don't make it too long, and make sure you talk about the
most important issues, like the Oneness of Allah, and truth of the Quran and
Prophethood of Mohammad.
Secondly, try to show Islam through your example, especially kind treatment of parents and good manners.
Thirdly, leave books and videos and DVDs lying around so that can read/watch . Choose subjects that you know they will be curious about.
Fourthly, refuse to compromise on essential matters that Allah has forbidden us from, like worshipping others than Allah, and participating in that, or drinking, serving, carrying etc…alcohol, or not wearing hijab when you need to. People generally do not admire or respect weakness. People will respect you in the end for standing up for what you believe, even if it is hard in the beginning.
Remember that Allah has more right to be feared, and all is in His hands, and life is a test to see how we will behave.
Having said that you should not compromise, you should not also be too strict in front of your family on matters that are not so important. For example you might like to eat with your fingers as the Prophet did, but if your parents expect you to eat with a knife and fork you should do that, because it is not forbidden to do that. These are just some examples.
Finally remember that Shaitaan is doing his best to cause hatred and enmity between us and to take us away from Allah's straight path. So take refuge with Allah, and always ask Him for help in every situation. Indeed He is the best protector and the best helper.
yours in Islam