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Wednesday, 23 August 2006



Oh, how I do long for an Ameer al-mumineen. Ive heard of a few out there, but I mean a proper one. How about it, ARG? No? Fine. Not that it really matters, you can't make an omelet with rotten eggs, no matter how fine the chef. We need to make sure that we buy only free range from now on, no hollywood chicken coup involved. But, you can't expect little'uns to think long term, they want NOW NOW NOW! That's why they make calpol taste like 'strawberry's' (well, its kinda pink and sugery...). I doubt very much my little brother would actually ASK for medicine every time he felt a slight twinge about his forehead if he wasn't gonna recieve good ol' gloop. Parents get no hastle, kid gets to nurse a mouthful of gloop. We have got to do the same thing with Islam. You cannot reiterate the promise of glory, honor and Rome with the Coca Cola generation. They may nod and smile while you tell them about how tough and pious Umar ibn al-Khattab was, but as soon as they get outside, its 'no... you were Wayne Rooney last time!'. Here's my advice, and I think I am in a good possition to comment on this, and Allah knows best; DO NOT preach the deen to kids. Ye, I mean the Muslim ones. Dont do it. What ain't fun, ain't gettin' done. You need to make Islam taste like strawberry's. I dont suppose I need to convince anyone that kids copy the ones they look up too. Make sure that someone is the right kind of someone. I go to what I suppose you could call street fight training (we kinda mish all the good bits of loads of different styles together). C'mon! How cool is that?!? Better still, our trainers ('officialy' we have one trainer, but another brother does quite a bit sometimes) PRAY, our trainers FAST, our trainers, and Allah knows best what is in their hearts, CARE FOR THE DEEN! If a beef cake with a nice high kick teaches a member of the new gen. how to elbow someone in the face, 9 times out of 10 that same kid will WANT TO BE LIKE THEM. So the next time a group of kiddies asks you to release them from their school holliday boredom, buy a pool table for the masjid! Use the money you were going to buy those extra 100 Qurans with. Relax bro, breath! You wont be sent to jahanam for letting the number fall below 600! And no, the kids probably wont riot in the masjid, and yes, you can play too! Get the imam to join in! Have a tourniment! Chip in a bit of cash and all go out for pizza afterwards! If pool isnt their thing, there is this fantastic invention called the football! Its a round piece of leather filled with air and, get this, some REALLY cool guys even invented a game to go along with it! Get together at your local park and give it a try! Dont worry about injuries, have kids against adults, your bigger than they are, use it to your advantage! What? Na, dont worry, they have youth on their side, they heal real quick! When prayer time comes, take the kids with you to the masjid! You just BE COOL, and plant that seed in their hearts. Those little eggs are the future, and the cooler you are around them, the longer they will stay fresh. Telling them how much the Ummah sucks today is NOT a good dawah tactic. Whatever you do, just be cool, get them hooked on you, and then be a good role model. Dont be to harsh with them or they might break, and the less eggs we have, the lesser the quality of our omelet. Be nice, I like omelets.

ARG comment: Nice idea, but lets be practical. In most mosques you can't even get them to do a khutba/bayan in English. It still in Urdu/Punjabi whatever, which most of the kids don't understand! One of my local mosques (Croydon...name and shame) were approached by a Muslim youth group and were told find somewhere else. Its a disgrace. And they wonder why these youth are turning to extremism. Duh!
Anyway, we do our best inshallah, but in the end Allah guides whom He wills. The deen is for us and our benefit, and if the Muslims don't want it Allah will find another people who do.

Fatima Barkatulla

Guess what happened one day when I was on an underground train coming back from a family trip into London:
I was sitting as you do, avoiding eye contact with people when this man walked on the train and sat opposite me. I thought I knew this man, he seemed quite familiar, as if I'd seen him before. Then I noticed the woman next to him and I remembered seeing them on a show on Islam Channel at someones house. It was DAVID SHAYLER and ANNIE MACHON (his partner/wife). They are both former MI5 agents and whistleblowers on the dodgy stuff MI5 gets up to. I had to say something so I went and sat next to Annie Machon and whispered to her "Excuse me, were you on Islam Channel a few days ago?" She was really surprised and introduced herseld and Shayler. My husband then had a chat with Shayler and I with Machon. He said quite confidently that September the 11th was an inside job and even that the 7th July bombings were inside jobs. He said the goverments are relying on the apathy of the masses to get away with things and he gave us a DVD from his pocket with a documentary about 9/11 and the 'controlled demolition' theory of what happened that day. He said that the Zionist Lobby was behind the whole conspiracy! He was talking so openly I was getting a bit nervous!(Subhan Allah they have us Muslims so scared!)
He also said that the media will never have him on and that Islam Channel gave him the longest and most fair interview he'd had....

ARG comment: You can fool some people sometimes but you can't fool all of the people all of the time!
The truth is coming...the question is do we want to part of it or not?


Your probably right, bro. But I like to think that Dr.Khan is not a completely lost cause, and that he will use his possition as Masjid President to get the youth some new cricket equipment! And he better hurry up about it, too! Im sure he knows all too well, what with his PHD in WHO CARES, ITS A PHD!, the damaging effects being constantly told that you are a nusiance, and if you try to pray with the jamat again im gonna get Ismael to fetch the stick! To the corner, no, THE CORNER, YOU LITTLE PACKIE!!! Ye, racialy abusing the one's who are learning the deen from you is, in my experience, generaly not too great an idea. You see, kids have this realy anoying habbit of RESPONSE. If you treat them right, their lovely little things, but tell little Abdul that his recitation sounds too 'Indian' and you see what happens when turns 12. Yes, there is a reason why Abdul doesn't want to come to the masjid. Another little qirk they have is this irritating need for FUN. You remember fun, dont you? Well, even if you dont, they still need it. And if they suddenly get sick of using sticks for wicketts, you better hope that munsab really crushed Abdul's spirit, 'coz boredom + bravery = smashed mosque windows. Windows need to be replaced, wich may cost hundreds, all of which could have been avoided with an invesment of just a few quid. See, im saving you cash, here! Let me spell it out for you; £10 cricket set = happy kid's = cash saved on windows = more money for guilt Quran's! Well? No? Need more convincing? Ok, dig this; once you've replaced those windows a few times, that 'TISH!' sound looses its apeal. By now 'little' Abdul is sixteen and six foot and sick of being attacked by the goria at school for being a terrorist. So, with a little prompting from the right nutcase, that bomb-suit suddenly seems the new Nike. More dead innocents = more pressure on Muslims = more money spent on correcting public opinion of Islam = £000's less to spend on Quran's! You might even have to resort to paper back, PAPER back! So please, in the name of all that is good, I make a personal apeal to you, Dr.Khan, to please, please just buy the local kids a new cricket bat. If they hit you over the head with it, then just be thankful that your at least not being surrounded by skinheads 'acting on behalf' of Abdul's victims. Oh, and stop calling the pale kids goria, it ain't really too good for team spirirt.

ARG comment: LOL! Classic.

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